Update on Mom

It seems it's going to be a busy week. Monday my mom went in for a bone marrow biopsy, today she goes in to get her port placed, and Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday she will have her first round of Chemotherapy. We are keeping her busy with church pictures on Wednesday night and the Light the Night Walk on Saturday. I think this leukemia walk will mean more to her then ever before. Thank you to everyone who has donated or contributed to this cause. Please keep her in your prayers.

http://pages.lightthenight.org/mid/Lawrence09/ashlivotaw

1 more step to being a big boy

This little cutie, wasn't so cute on Friday. As he continued to cry through out the day, I decided I was immune to the noise. So why not use it to my advantage. Time to take the pacifier away! Nap time came, and after all the crying he must of been exhausted because he went right to sleep. I knew bedtime would be the worst, but that went pretty smoothly also. I couldn't believe, this thing I'd been dreading for months went so easy. Here we are, 3 days later, and he hasn't even missed it.

I'm here

I've been missing lately, and not posting much. It's been a crazy couple of weeks, and I've had stuff to post, but just haven't felt like doing it. My 4th child (as Eric calls my camera) hasn't even been out and about lately. I feel if there's no pictures, then there's no post. But today I'm going to post anyway.

I've had this horrible fear the last 2 years that my mom wasn't getting the care she needed. I've been sick after every good report she calls with from her cancer Dr because I just felt like there was something wrong. Something they weren't seeing, or something they were ignoring. I wanted to celebrate the good news, but I didn't want anything to be over-looked. After several months of begging... my parents finally gave in to my desire of getting a 2nd opinion.

That brings us to last week. My parents took off to Tulsa to the Cancer Center of America on Sunday, I felt guilty right away. Knowing that it was making my mom uncomfortable, and my dad upset, I felt the weight on my shoulders.

The plan was for me to go down with my brother on Tues. afternoon to be there for the Dr appt on Wed. morning, however when I talked to my parents on Mon. night I found out the appt had been changed to Tues. morning. I wasn't going to miss talking to the Dr, and asking my questions, so I packed up and took off by myself, to a place I had no idea where.

I was glad to see the Dr. and I got answers. Were they what I wanted to hear? I don't know. They found the "something missing" I was wondering about, but the outcome was something that left me not knowing how I was feeling. Chemotherapy. A word we don't like to hear. A word that means the ugly C word exists.

Is chemo horrible? I was so scared of the word a few short years ago. But as I've witnessed this horrible disease grow inside my mothers body, the more I've wanted "treatment" to happen. Cancer isn't good. Cancer shouldn't be left to grow and take over ones body. Cancer shouldn't be something we have to think about on a daily basis. So I was ready, ready for chemo to come in and wipe it out. Put her into remission, and have the amazing woman back, without cancer being a part of her.

So we do as we are told, and we come home, meet with another Dr here in Kansas, and discuss the options. The chemo plan is laid out, and the dates are set to start. But as I see my dad tear up, and my mom zone off and out of reality for a split second, the weight is back.

I did it, I put her here. I made her get that 2nd opinion that lead to this conclusion. It's because of my hard headedness that my mom has to go thru this next 6 months.

Is it bad that I did it... No. I think we needed to know. My brothers agreed that the 2nd opinion was needed, so I shouldn't feel bad. In 6 short months, I'll be feeling great when it's all done, and my beautiful mother is full of energy again, and we don't have to worry about every illness she has. Do I feel bad about it. I do. Will I get over it... I will. But until then, my worlds a jumbled up mess, and you will have to deal with me how I am.

The time has come!

As many of you know, my mom was diagnosed with Leukemia 10 years ago. She's put up a fight, and has won up to this point, but it's finally time to bring the big dogs in!
This week we made a trip to Tulsa to the Cancer Center of America. What an amazing place! It is full of amazing people, and they treat you like no other. It was a great experience, but brought some hard news. It's time for the chemo to play a part in this battle. Of course the initial word brought tears and fear, but after a few hours and time to digest, she is ready for the next step. The dr's in Tulsa were ready for her to start on Tuesday, but she wanted to come home and do her treatments here. Next Thursday we will meet with the dr see where we go from here. I know she would love your prayers. I will update here as often as I can.

Lincoln's 2nd Birthday Party

I love when my kids birthday's come around. I love to reminisce about the pregnancy, the birth, the newness, and everything that has happened since they've been here. I love to have the "week" be all about them. Some where along the road, their birthDAY has turned into a week long celebration. Anyway, Saturday we celebrated Lincoln's birthday with our families and a few of Linc's close friends. We went with the Carnival theme and had a grand time!

These cupcakes were the inspiration for the carnival theme. I saw these and had to make them for his party. Aren't they the cutest little popcorn cupcakes you've ever seen? They were so cute!

On to the birthday boy! He had so much fun. He had a smile on his face the entire time! He played with the big boys and there was no stopping him. Trying to get the kids inside for cake and presents was impossible.

Poor Maci wasn't feeling well that day. It was so hard to see her sick. She had been looking forward to this party for weeks. She had spurts of energy where she came down to play, but she left her mark at the party too- when she got sick in the middle of everyone! Poor girl.

Onto the party. I made a list of carnival food, and tried my best to recreate the goods. You can't go without caramel apples (their healthy food right?)

The yummy cotton candy (and popcorn cupcakes that are blurry in the front)

Eric serving up the popcorn, and Calvin and Oliver enjoying it

The great grandma's enjoying some nachos

Calvin having a yummy snow cone

Maverick tearing into some cotton candy

On our menu that we all enjoyed was popcorn, nachos, caramel apples, hot dogs, corn dogs, funnel cakes, pretzels, cotton candy, snow cones, and cupcakes. It was all so good!

When we finally got the kids inside we opened some fun presents. Lincoln was spoiled!

Outside the kids enjoyed some blow up bounce houses and then the regular outdoor activities we have. It kept them occupied for hours. It was a fun night for all.

Inside the adults spent time catching up and enjoying each others company.

We had a great night and Lincoln and the other kids had a great time. Thank you everyone for coming and spending the fun evening with us! We all had a lot of fun.

How old is she???

Maci of course is the smartest girl in the world ;) But when she came home with her spelling words for this week I started laughing. I couldn't wait to show her dad, and his response was "Is this a joke?" You choose for yourself. Does this look like a 2nd week of second grade spelling list?

1. entomologist
2. compound eyes
3. Goliath Beetle
4. earwig
5. damselfly
6. Monarch

Birthday Boy

We had a fantastic birthday day for our youngest. His party won't be until this weekend, but we couldn't let the day go by without celebrating. As we've mentioned in the past, we are very fortunate to live by all of our family! We can't let a birthday pass without celebrating with them!

We started the day off with meeting Grandma Votaw and going out to eat pizza. We enjoyed reminiscing the night he arrived. Grandma's always good at helping us cherish our memories. After work we went for a picnic and some play time at a park with Mimi and Papa.

(by the way... it's impossible to get all 3 kids to take a good picture- one is always making some crazy face!)

We had a great day, and Lincoln was back to his (pre 2) behavior. So much fun, and so happy! We enjoyed the day of hugs and kisses and memories.

2 years ago we were given the best gift from God! A perfect, healthy little boy! Last night after showers as I was taking Lincoln into bed, he decided he wanted rocked. Of course I'll never pass up a time spent cuddling... so we sat and rocked. As he laid his head on my shoulder and cuddled in, I just set there with tears in my eyes. Remembering his birth. Spending the next several days studying every part of him. Amazed by the perfect human being in front of me. Watching daily as he grows and changes. I'm on a prayer blog where daily you are reminded of how special it is to get a healthy baby. We've definitely been blessed to have the 3 wonderful, amazing, happy, and healthy kids. As sad as I am to see the baby fade away, I'm even more excited to see the big boy he will become!

We love you Lincoln, Happy Birthday!

He's 2!

My little boy is 2 today! It doesn't seem possible. It seems like just the other day that I had to wake Eric up to take me to the hospital. How does time go so fast?

We have a weekend full of fun planned to celebrate this big day. But what better way to start your birthday with a BIG donut and cup of strawberry milk. His favorite!
Happy Birthday big boy!

Weekend with Family

We got to spend the weekend with my wonderful cousins and celebrate my uncle's birthday. My mom is 1 of 13, and most of her siblings have large families. Needless to say, I have a TON of cousins, and don't get to see them nearly enough! This past weekend I did get to see several of htem at my uncle's surprise birthday party. Not only did I have fun, the kids had a blast with all of my cousins kids. The Ostrander family alone has 19 grandkids (my cousin's grandkids) so you can imagine the fun to be had.

I loved the pinata line. They put the kids in order according to height, and you can imagine how long the line could get. Remember 19 kids from one family alone! Also being on a farm of course there was plenty to explore! Tractors, barns, animals, etc. Needless to say, when it was time to go, there was a lot of tears.
Linc wasn't to interested in all the people- but he wasn't about to sit still- he explored along with the big kids

Maci, Maddox, and Maverick ready to start farming

Thank you Ostranders for getting us all together and all the amazing fun (and food). Hope to see you again soon!

Soccer Season begins round 2

This season brings a first to us. A second season in the same sport! Maci did everything. Gymnastics, tap dance, ballet, cheerleading, soccer, basketball, etc. but never wanted to do it more than once. She's a shy girl, not one who likes to "perform" in front of people. However, Maddox seems to love it. Saturday was the start of his fall soccer season and he was ready to go.

His coach let him try out the goal and he loved it. He had a smile on his face from ear to ear the entire time.

Does someone look like they aren't listening to the coach very well?

Things we do for our kids...

I was a teacher in a life way back when, and I loved my job! I loved watching how insane parents were and how crazy they were with things they believed and did for their child. After all, I knew it all, and of course I didn't have any children.

So now in todays world, with 3 children, and of course the most perfect, well behaved, and precious kids a person could have, I see myself falling into that "crazy parent category."

Monday Maddox got up to go to school. I had laid out a cute little green polo and some shorts for him to put on. When he came down the stairs he informed me that he couldn't wear that green shirt. He had to wear red. He sat at the red table and when the teacher said "if you have red on you can stand up," he had to be able to stand up. If he didn't have red on then he would be stuck in his seat for eternity. I quickly helped him find a red shirt to put on. After all, I did want him to come home that evening and not be stuck at school for a mistake of mine!

Tuesday came, and the same thing, he had to have red, so we found a KU shirt that had red on it. I was hoping by the next day he would forget about it and life would be back to normal. However, my brain had been tainted.

That morning before he went to school, after already laying out a red shirt, I decided that we would go do some shopping. I needed some jeans for Maddox because his jeans from last year were way to short. As I was looking, I kept noticing shirts I really liked for him. I really liked this brown and white one, but not so much the red and white. I liked a green style they had but the red wasn't so cute... are you seeing what I'm doing here. All of a sudden I feel like I can only buy red shirts!!! Are you serious- am I one of those parents now?

I left with only some jeans (Eric would be so proud) and no shirts. So either Maddox will wear the same shirts every week, or we will have to get him to understand that wearing another color won't be that big of a deal.

I promise I will never be one of those moms that believe their kids are perfect and thier teachers are evil! Nope, not me! I better go find some red shirts online!

Wordless Wednesday

again....

I've heard it several times, several moms saying "so and so was the last child for a reason." "If so and so was born first I would of only had one child." I never thought it was true. I always thought it was a funny way of saying the kid was high maintenance... but I'm seeing now, that those words are all to true.

2 years ago on Sept. 9, the Lord above blessed us with our 3rd child. Our little precious Lincoln Miles. He was an amazing baby. So happy, just slept and ate, and smiled. So easy. Strangers would comment on his permanent smile. I even had one person tell me that "good babies turn into wild toddlers." I didn't believe a thing she said. This sweet thing didn't have a wild bone in his body. Ohhh why I didn't enjoy those calm times more.

I love my little man with all my heart... but to be perfectly honest, this mom that thought I could handle more kids, has resigned to the fact that he just may be it! (Don't tell Eric I admit ed that!) This little man has been on a wild rampage for the last 2 weeks and doesn't seem to be letting up. How bad could he possible be (I know his grandma's are wondering) But here's my last 2 days.

I take Maddox out to the road to meet the bus. I am gone maybe a minute and a half. And the destruction he can do is unbelievable. Yesterday he saw me walk out. I will take the blame for it. If he gets outside he won't come back in, so I decided to leave him inside. However when I got back he had opened the bathroom door (even with a childproof lock on it) and decided to take all the trash and toilet paper he could find and stuff it into the toilet. Needless to say when I got back inside there was water every where, along with wet trash and toilet paper. DISGUSTING!

Today... what could he do? I was prepared. He was busy watching Dora when I left and the bathroom door was locked this time. No more of that mess needs to happen. Off Maddox and I went to the bus and I open the door to come in and what do I find? A gallon of milk by the door and a WHOLE pitcher of tea poured out in the entry way. Upon entering the kitchen was everything else that once belonged in my fridge, now spread out all over the floor, in cabinets, and in drawers.

I'm sure it's easy to guess that nap time came extra early today! And you heard it from me. I now understand why parents say that their last child was their last child for a reason!

Please pray for me :)

I made it!

I made it thru the day- and today too! Today was much easier. I actually got something accomplished while they were at school. However, nothing is more fun then to see the bus pull up and see my group all come running up the drive.